The French Fry Goggle Small The Sludge

Go fast with The French Fry Goggles. Hyperventilator™ anti-fog technology and helmet compatibility ensure that it's you who sucks, not your goggles. Available in two sizes, small fries for small heads, big fries for big heads.
Whatever you do, do NOT make pizza
Disclaimer: if this doesn't make sense to you, reread after your first day at ski school.